The Weirdest Day of Shenanigans Ever -- Century House, Peabody MA

I needed an oil change so we went to Jiffy Lube down there in Peabody. It took forever, but they vacuumed the car (seriously, no one does that anymore...) and the guys on staff were incredibly nice. Dave and I entertained ourselves by watching a guy in baggy sweatpants and grey Crocs, constantly opening the door to the Oil Change Area to ask the guys what they were doing, why it was taking so long, what is that you're doing to my car... ad infinitum.

By the time they were finished, it was like I was driving a new car, but it was way past lunch time. 

We drove over by the Liberty Tree Mall as I thought there was a foodrinkery right up front, but there wasn't. They were building a Buffalo Wild Wings, and it wasn't yet open. Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse by the North Shore Mall was out of business. Dave didn't want to go to Legal Seafood or Sylvan Street Grille because these were two places that he said Theresa loves, and he felt bad she wasn't with us. I hate the Cheesecake Factory because all the food tastes the same and is too salty. PF Changs was there and Joe's All American Grill, but I wasn't in the mood for either. There were no good "pubs" on 114 or anything....

Trying to figure out where to go without heading into Peabody Center, I remembered that a friend of mine liked eating at the Century House. 

So... we went to the Century House.

Walking in, there was a bizarre mixed stench of old people and really strong industrial cleaner. And the bar was packed. There were only two seats left, all the way over against the back wall near the ice dispenser. Looking around the bar, we realized rather quickly that we were the youngest people there, at 44 (me) and 47 (Dave). I would guess everyone else was 65 and over. Some even well into their 80s. 

There were two women across the bar who may have been our age... and three guys that were hitting on them really hard, and those guys were well into their late 50s. They ended up calling a friend on their cell phone, begging her to come down to the bar "because we're outnumbered by these guys, there's one for you too! tee hee hee hee!" The phone was on speaker, and the girl on the other end was swearing and talking about how she'd be happy to come down and give one of the guys a blow job but "he better be the cutest one of the group! hahahahah!" 

Realizing she was on speaker and everyone could hear her, the friend with the phone quickly switched off speaker phone. There was a lot of guilty laughter. But in all reality, I think that Dave and I, and the couple across the bar were the only people without hearing aids so we were the only ones who heard the call. 

The guy across the bar from me took out his phone and made a call, loudly and on purpose, to kind of mock the girls at the end of the bar. He and I made eye contact and he winked at me, so I knew he was having a laugh at their expense. "YEAH! I AM AT A BAR. THOUGHT I WOULD CALL BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO AT BARS!" 

The girls and their suitors at the bar's end seemed... unamused. 

Dave had a Lobster Roll, it was very good. I had a Seafood Casserole, and it was incredibly cheesy but rather good. Lots of nice scallops and shrimp and haddock. Dave wanted a Black and Tan, but had to order two because their Guinness was out of a can, and that's how they make them. Two at a time. I was impressed at their ability to make them that way. Dave was happy to have the Black and Tan duo.  

Right before we left two rather interesting couples came in, one was a pair with a kind of handsome woman, and a guy who had a turquoise and silver ring on each finger, and huge turquoise and silver amulets dangling around his neck. He had a severe toupee, a crazy leather jacket and a blood red shirt on. They drank wine and touched each other on the arms lovingly while talking close. 

The other pair that came in was a mother and daughter team, in fur coats, both with amazing new hairdoos all puffy and big. Celebrating their day out with highballs and highballs. Daughter had to be in her 70s, mom in her 90s, and a gentleman got out of his seat and helped mom up to her throne to hold court at the corner of the bar. Her smile of gratefulness was a sight to behold. She was so cute. 

We left the bar shortly before a few other people were tipping out of their seats and heading to the parking lot. My guess is that at 3pm, there are a lot of rather intoxicated oldsters making their way home on rte 114. 

I don't think we'll take our shenanigans back to the Century House. The food was okay. The waitstaff was certainly nice and on the job, but the overall "feel" of the location was a little beyond where we both are, stylewise, if you get my drift.

If you have any good Peabody/Danvers Pub suggestions, I'm open.

April Fools Day at the Choate Bridge Pub

April Fool's Day and it is snowing. SNOWING for cryin' out loud!

It seems like for weeks each time I've gone to get Dave on a Friday, the weather has it out for us. 

We headed a little far a field to Ipswich, and hit the Choate Bridge Pub Restaurant. The place was jam packed, and Dave wondered how many of the guys at the bar were contractors who work inside or outside, who couldn't work on a day like today what with the weather. 

Dave told me stories about where his old office was in Boston. There was a bar called the Pier Grille, and the clientele there was rather mixed. Business men like himself, mixed with dudes "fresh" off of the fishing boats. They'd bring their haul in after being out for a week, and instead of going home to lady and shower, or whatever else would await them, they hit the Pier Grille.

The great part about where the bar was, he told me, was that no one was driving to get home. Cabs were easy to hail, and walking up to their apartment near the Copps Hill Cemetery was no problem. He never had to worry about the fishermen, except for maybe how they smelled. And he loved that their primary goal was a cold one before returning home, like any other men of work. 

At the Choate, we saw many working men in their sweatshirts from their businesses, we heard them talking about projects. The barmaid and waitress seemed to know each one by name. Regulars. Regular Joes, eating their sandwiches and a cold Ipswich Ale, because they sure couldn't be out there on a ladder doing that exterior paint job. 

While we were sitting there, Dave suddenly burst into near hysterical giggles. "Coming around the corner to your line of sight in 5, 4, 3, 2..." and then I saw her. 

This woman indeed came into view. She was on 'the arm of a rather normal looking guy who was wearing galoshes and an overcoat. But she ... she was orange tan, in a tiny black dress, hair all dolled up huge, with high crazy heels on, struggling to get through the slush and mush on the sidewalks. He did his best to support her along. But we died laughing while checking her out. She looked incredibly out of place in a town of New Englanders in their winter coats and their waterproof wellies. 

Theorizing "what on earth is her deal?" we created a narrative for her. She worked at the "asethetiques" salon around the corner and had just returned from two hole weeks in Tortuga. Her beau there, a gentleman much above her age, had just taken her to lunch down the street as a surprise. She, not expecting this, forgot her jacket. And now she was regretting that oversight. He, not much of a gentleman if you ask me, could have given his coat to her. But he is, after all, a wise New Englander. Not giving up that coat for nothing. 

Dave enjoyed a lobster roll and a couple of Black and Tans. I had a beautiful piece of swordfish with the most perfectly steamed broccoli I've ever had at lunch. Thumbs up. 

If you find yourself in Ipswich, The Choate Bridge Pub is a fantastic place to eat. Be forewarned though, they don't take credit cards so come with a loaded wallet and be prepared, or you'll be like Dave, waltzing down the street in the slush heading to the ATM at the bank.